The Difference Five Mother's Days Can Make

The photo on the left was taken on Mother’s Day 2021. My late husband had already been gone 7 1/2 years at that point, and while I can’t say depression alone got me to the weight I was at (about 201 pounds), I can say with complete honesty that I simply did not want to do the work it took to get healthy. The thought of dieting made me want to do absolutely nothing.

I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, even while simultaneously cooking “healthy meals” for the internet. I am not kidding when I say there were nights I would make a delicious dinner, style it for Instagram, take a bite for content and immediately order a Domino’s pizza. I lived alone, so no one would know. But my body certainly did. My energy did. My confidence did.

At that point in my life, I had spent DECADES trapped in an all-or-nothing cycle of dieting. I thought being healthy meant following a million rules perfectly every single day. Drink more water, Hit 10k steps. Meal Prep. Don’t eat sugar. Don’t eat after 7 p.m. Mediate. Stretch. Weigh yourself daily. Start over on Monday.

It was exhausting.

And honestly, I am pretty confident I have undiagnosed ADHD, because all those rules just overwhelmed my brain to a point where it just shut down completely. The more pressure I put on myself to do everything perfectly, the more likely I was going to quit altogether.

Then in January of 2022, something shifted. I let go. I let go of the timeline. I let go of perfection. I let go of the idea that one “bad” meal ruined everything. I let go of the exhausting list of daily tasks that made healthy living feel impossible. And over time, that made me lighter both literally and figuratively.

What finally worked for me was losing the timeline entirely. At least for me, that was the key to moving forward in my weight loss journey.

I am now down 41 pounds after maintaining a 35 pound weight loss for nearly 30 months. I’m about 10 pounds from my goal weight of 140 for my 5.2 frame, but I genuinely don’t care how long it takes me to get there anymore. Because what I’m most proud of now is how I handle food situations.

This last week alone could have been completely derailed the old me. I went to a Lou Malnati’s pop up with Jeff Mauro where their new Beefza pizza was incredible. I had two birthday celebrations with friends and a huge Mother’s Day brunch spread at my daughter and son-in-law’s house.

Years ago, I would have used ALL of those events as an excuse to completely go off the rails and promise myself I’d “get back on” on Monday. Instead, I approach everything differently now.

I once saw an interview with Giada De Laurentiis where she was asked how she stays so slim while constantly being around food. Her answer was simple: “I eat a little bit of everything and not a lot of anything.”

Sounds so simple when you read it, but this has quietly become my motto these last five years. I stopped at one slice of pizza. I skipped appetizers at one party because I really wanted to enjoy the ribs and sides at a dinner. At another event, I had two drinks and just a few bites of appetizers. At my daughter’s house, I had a little bit of everything and enjoyed every single bite. And after all that? I was only up .6 this week.

Five Mother’s Days ago, I was surviving. This Mother’s Day, I am finally living a life that feels balanced, peaceful, joyful, and sustainable, and that means to much more than any number on the scale ever could.

Thank you Hannah and Jacob for an amazing Mother’s Day in your home. I love you both to the moon and back!